Stump

The problem with being an INFJ
is that you feel more than you think.
You feel so much that at times it can
seem like the world is ending, when
the reality is, you've only hit a stump.

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Something Special

I always consistently get this feeling. Like, who am I? I need to be somebody. I need to figure this out. If there is nothing else to being alive and living this life, then I need to make it matter. Do something important. Contribute to the world. Find my purpose. What can I do, here and now? And I overthink it and turn it over a million times in my mind when I hear the door slam; BAMM! Back to reality. And then I remember. I DO know who I am. I AM somebody. This, is my LIFE! And I am on that road, turning that wheel to and fro, and I can go anywhere and live any way that I want. Not many people can do this. Then I do things like wear clothes I like regardless of how good it looks or if I'm wearing makeup and dye my hair blue, because this is me. It's who I am. And I'm on the road making decisions and figuring it out and trying my best every day. I shouldn't feel so dissatisfied. I shouldn't be so depressed. Because I'm TRYING. And it's important to appreciate every moment. OCPD or not, this, right here, not all people can have it. F Autism. Screw Anxiety. THIS, is something special.

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On Digging Deeper/Mining for Gold When You Prefer Silver

I am half my mothers interests
and half my fathers interests.
If you split me down the middle,
what is left in the remaining third?


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Reality CHECK Packet

Don't be sad, 
everything will be okay! 

                  -Words I Tell Myself 
                    Every Morning 

It feels weird to say that

I may now need to call 

myself a Poet, because 

I didn't find the poems,

the poems found me.

Without really knowing it, 

I stepped into the shoes of a 

writer. 

A friend once told me she
was envious, because she
realized that if she never
left her parents house, she
would've had the resources
and time to go after her dreams.

I donated my brain to Science. 

Halfway through the procedure 

I felt the drill. 

Don't pity me because it seems

like I'm going through a hard time,

pity yourself because you're not yet

comfortable enough to bring your 

own issues forward.

I need motivation.

I need it so bad like 

a heroine addict needs crack,

and I wonder everyday

why I don't have it.

Today I saw a hat that

had the word Titties on it.

I had to have it.

There is a pressure.

It comes from all sides.

All this talk to conform

and you only want me to 

because people won't stop

talking about the shame. 

"What shame?"

One of the reasons I 

need to be free is 

because I'm too messed 

up to conform. 

HeARTbrEAK Packet

How do you forgive someone for things
you no longer remember them doing?

When I said goodbye

it hurt me that you faked it,

as if the fact that my existence

in your life would happen

to disappear

would even faze you

Antagonist

The Antagonist is that character
in a novel who is unwanted,
usually part of a set of three.
I never wanted to be that person

My heart broke when I met you,

because I knew that it would

never be worth it.

I'm not strong enough to be a creator

because I'm not strong enough to be alone

When it's night time and you have
nothing else to think about, why
is it that the mind automatically
circles around the things that
make you sad?

The longer you drive the more you

become immune to it's effects.

I'm used to the strain of travel now

When you truly care about someone 

it doesn't matter if you get your

heart broken or are let down

time and time again

you start to loose sight of what

really matters as the floorboards

of your world are flipped

up into space

whole black moving in patterns 

that defy gravity

One lonely night in August,

I am holding in my tears.

BTS  

Canada Road Trip Mini Packet

 

Bug bites upon bug bites

Queen of the Swarm

Glacier National Park

Where the trees huddle close

I have bathed in rose petals and 

it has attracted 

mosquitoes.

Firebird swoops low over the waterline and scans his environment.

                       Swooning, he dips into the surface skim

                                     and rushes to deliver important cargo to those who need it.

On the way to Banff

white butterflies

splatter against

the windshield.

A metaphor for life?

        

                                   Heading back home after                   

                                                     2 weeks on the road.                

                                                                   when traveling is your happy place

                                                            you can feel the pressure        

                                                                         returning with every mile      

                                                                                                  the closer you get to the city.

                                                                          

                                                       The way the smog curls

                                                around a pinked horizon

                                                       reminds me of every single

                                                  reason it is so damn

                                                          difficult to be alive.

                 

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Am Hi

lounging by the river.

A filter dropped and
it's windy.

I've inhaled helium
and
am being bombarded.

The wind threatens
to blow everything away

Should I let it?

SOARING
high above the trees, a Kpop music video
I've never seen, where the scenes constantly shift,
always in a nicely decorated box.
As the lights flash in and out
live snaps are brought to doe eyes,
at the speed of light they walk.

CAMP
trying to figure out how to change clothes
the hardest thing you've ever tried to do,
but if you stop now you'll be naked.
Pick up a book and try to read the words
but they keep falling off the pag
                                                   e

FREAK OUT
Fight the float, rationalize
take thoughts in steps,
turn mush into action
Marvel at the horrifying realization
that you could sit there for hours
and stare at your hands,

the most interesting tools on Earth.


FAST FORWARD

Fin.

      Unzipped Tent,

                     Indian style

GIGGLE
realize you're being watched,
cast your marbles upon a circle of chairs
at once
the heads turn and laugh
and stare


Shit. Trippy.

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