I think one of the reasons I fell for you was because you were there for me when I cried.
We were in a car together on a road trip with friends and I was trying to get over someone.
The reality of that heartbreak was difficult to accept, and you probably didn't even notice because you were driving and it was dark.
Looking out of the window at passing shadows the silence made my thoughts start to run like paint, subtly accenting a mental recording of blurred spheres of light going by on the asphalt.
When the wells in my eyes could no longer hold their tension, I took my glasses off and pointed out the lights and made a joke, how it was funny how blind I was because at night when I took my glasses off that was all I could see, headlights and brake lights leading new lives as ghostly red and white spheres.
I always surmised that when the apocalypse finally comes, people with glasses would be the first to die when circumstances got bad like that guy in The Mummy. You are one of the lucky ones.
Looking back I wasn't sure how to feel about that moment, at the time it didn't seem that significant, just as long as I was able to hide my secret, but I was vulnerable that night and you were there, and for some reason it felt okay.
Later when we pulled over for a break, our friends forming circles of small talk and keeping their eyes out for meteors, I felt the urge to stim, one of many repetitive Autistic body movements a person can make to soothe, and I pulled away from the group to fly.
While my arms cut slowly up and down through the chilly night air and my feet traced an even bigger circle gliding, the sad feelings slowly fell away one by one.
Even though you could've been a random friend sitting next to me in the car that day, for some reason crying felt okay.
That may have been one of the first times I started seeing you differently.
BTS
