I always consistently get this feeling. Like, who am I? I need to be somebody. I need to figure this out. If there is nothing else to being alive and living this life, then I need to make it matter. Do something important. Contribute to the world. Find my purpose. What can I do, here and now? And I overthink it and turn it over a million times in my mind when I hear the door slam; BAMM! Back to reality. And then I remember. I DO know who I am. I AM somebody. This, is my LIFE! And I am on that road, turning that wheel to and fro, and I can go anywhere and live any way that I want. Not many people can do this. Then I do things like wear clothes I like regardless of how good it looks or if I'm wearing makeup and dye my hair blue, because this is me. It's who I am. And I'm on the road making decisions and figuring it out and trying my best every day. I shouldn't feel so dissatisfied. I shouldn't be so depressed. Because I'm TRYING. And it's important to appreciate every moment. OCPD or not, this, right here, not all people can have it. F Autism. Screw Anxiety. THIS, is something special.
BTS