A Poem After a Long Time

Do you remember the months after

we went to Canada when we argued

again and you broke things off? I

think it was shortly after I invited you

to the Grand Canyon and you 

criticized my friends. People our age 

can be stupid like that, selfish, it was 

my fault I think for not giving you space, 

but by that point the cycle kept repeating 

itself and I liked you so much. My head 

told me not to expect too much because

even though you liked me for a long time 

before I liked you, every time I gave you 

too much trouble your toes grazed the 

landing. It was my fault for capturing

you after the house warming party. Even 

though my head told me that we weren't

compatible, that it would never work out and

end too soon, hearts would be broken, pain

and trauma seared, and the tangles in my mind

couldn't easily be braided, a worked up heart

once again overrode it's brain. I touched your 

arm and asked if we were okay, and for 

the final time you said we were

In my head we fell in love around Christmas, 

you're better than you think you are~

BTS

The One with the Bald Spot- 2/15/19

You died on a cloudy winters day,
someplace in between sunrise and sunset.
As you ruffled your feathers for the last time
prepping yourself for sleep you seemed
more energetic and gave one last show.
To and fro our rooms you soared,
mischievous, like this was the one time you
didn't have to be responsible.
I turned on the heater for you while you dozed
and suddenly were able to eat more;
I thought we would take you to the vet
tomorrow and that everything would be alright,
but last night while mom slept she told me
she had a dream of a small bright light,
one that flew up to her as if to say
thank you for everything, goodbye
and in the morning you joined grandma.

The beginning, Sno late 2010

BTS